Do Not Dwell but Work to Overcome

And it is not the expression of emotion associated with unpleasant events that has curative power. It is the development of a sophisticated causal theory: Why was I at risk? What was it about the world that made it dangerous? What was I doing or not doing to contribute to my vulnerability? How can I change the value hierarchy I inhabit to take the negative into account so that I can see and understand it?

There is a difference between processing emotions, and dwelling or ruminating on them, where you are constantly obsessing over negative emotions. Venting is not the same as emotional processing. Instead, it is important to think through to the root cause of the thought or emotion, to develop a causal understanding of what happened in order to learn from the past and move on. By processing the past and learning from it, you are able to resolve the past and proceed how you want and influence your destiny.

Similarly, safe safes are meant to be a place where you feel safe to take small steps to build up the strength to overcome your fears or trauma, rather than a place where there is no danger. They are a means to overcome and get stronger, rather than a dwelling place. For example, learning how to dance at a school that fosters a friendly environment in order to start off - a safe space - but then eventually moving on an joining a more serious school to get better.

References

Beyond Order by Jordan Peterson